The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse
A local book for local people available in hardback or paperback
On the town, the radio series! Available on CD or Casette and tape!
On the Town

Live show

New Script Book

The Noses ...

Shaz and Tara!So you want a 'Local' nose Eh?

What you will need - some theatrical stuff from from Charles H. Fox Ltd -

  • Wig lace 01 @ £17.00 per metre (order no 02429)
  • Spirit Gum P 100ml @ £7.20 (order no 06012)
  • Spirit Gum P remover 100ml @ £2.50 (order no 02041). For cleaning brushes and fingers only. Do NOT use on face!

    What to do - cut the wig lace into a strip about a centimetre wide and as
    long as from your septum (the bit between your nostrils that Danella
    Westbrook disintegrated) to your forhead between your eyebrows.

    If you practice, you can cut the strip in the actual shape of your nose but
    beware - it stretches as you pull the nose up.

    Step one - cover your septum/outside of nostrils with a few thin layers of
    glue. Tap until tacky.

    Step two - glue the strip to that bit and allow to dry completely. Yes, you
    will look silly with it hanging off your nose.

    Step three - put a few thin layers of glue between your eyebrows. Tap until

    Step four - frown and yank the strip upwards until you have a local nose.
    Affix the strip to the glue. Hold it with your finger until it dries.

    Step five - if you are REALLY picky - glue the rest of the strip to your
    nose. Although the wig lace is flesh coloured, this will make it almost

    Shaz and I did not use any makeup, as we had to wear the think all day in
    boiling conditions. You CAN use a very thick foundation like the league do,
    but you can see this under normal (non studio) conditions and it looks more
    fake than without.

    For full Tubbs and Ed effect:

    Edward had a Bill Clinton Wig (also from Charles Fox)
    Tubbs had a headscarf and Grey Crepe Hair (also from Charles Fox) curled and
    pinned so that it showed under the scarf.

    Both had eyebrows whitened. Tubb's chin dimple was done with makeup.

    Credit for all this must go to Shaz - who did most of the legwork, and the
    (anonymous) makeup artist from the tLoG who told us the secrets!

    Unless you want to stay that way for life... instructions on how to "un"
    localise your nose.

    Peel off the wig lace very carefully. Do not use the glue remover as this
    will really sting on your skin (we know... we tried it!)

    You'll have tons of glue crust covering your nose, nostrils and eyebrows so
    use a load of cleanser or makeup remover and just leave it on - let it soak
    into the skin until the glue softens and comes off of it's own accord.

    Hot tip: To make your nose even MORE local - tie your glasses tightly to the
    head, this pushes back on the wig lace and gives you a few more millimetres
    of snout.

    I would strongly recommend that if anyone wants to try it, they contact Shaz
    or me by email! (Tara) (Shaz)



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